he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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