Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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