I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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