we're blogging at a bar
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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