I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize