She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We named our party play list daddy issues
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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