talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize