I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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