Your dad touched me again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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