Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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