So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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