I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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