I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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