my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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