what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
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It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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