Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.

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(610): C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues. http://tfl.nu/dcql

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(908): View more from New Jersey

im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did

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(908): im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did http://tfl.nu/z5v0

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(253): View more from Washington

is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?

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(253): is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing? http://tfl.nu/rrvx

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(614): View more from Ohio

Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out

(574): View more from Indiana

You never cease to amaze me.

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(614): Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out (574): You never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/7cst

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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(978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite. http://tfl.nu/yk7i

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(214): View more from Texas

I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.

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(214): I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday. http://tfl.nu/w2er

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(510): View more from California

I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.

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(510): I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit. http://tfl.nu/1jo4

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(614): View more from Ohio

Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE

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(614): Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE http://tfl.nu/myo8

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(304): View more from West Virginia

as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.

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(304): as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now. http://tfl.nu/olha

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(503): View more from Oregon

He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.

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(503): He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis. http://tfl.nu/tjtk

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(301): View more from Maryland

I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.

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(301): I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation. http://tfl.nu/sh4c

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(214): View more from Texas

Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?

(281): View more from Texas

If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!

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(214): Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex? (281): If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy! http://tfl.nu/0a5o

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(775): View more from Nevada

A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian

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(775): A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian http://tfl.nu/crio

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(901): View more from Tennessee

No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?

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(901): No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants? http://tfl.nu/d3zx

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

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(508): New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/zu28

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