ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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