Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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