Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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