Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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