I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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