whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize