I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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