So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize