You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I checked into jail on foursquare
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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