question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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