I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
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he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
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He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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