I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize