How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize