And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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