oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ugly people sure do ruin things
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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