I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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