woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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