the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Small penises have feelings too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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