Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This baby is an asshole
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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