I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't think brook has ever known best
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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