the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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