Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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