Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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