No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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