I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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