Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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