And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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