I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
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I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
there is glitter all over my balls
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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