dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize