My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize