Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize