If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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