I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
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Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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