Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
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She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
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Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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